i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I look better un-naked...
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
