wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
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