If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
