She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
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