There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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