The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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