Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Randomize
