omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
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