Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
