She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
