That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
