Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
