I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
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