I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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