hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Randomize
