yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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