is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
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