New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
