Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
Randomize
