Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
