I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
