I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
My vagina is very pro this idea
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
