when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
