but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Randomize
