Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
