White coat. Heels.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
