from now on my penis is your penis
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
