dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Randomize
