I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
We smell like vodka and hangover
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
