Whoa Z and x make the same sound
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
