you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Randomize
