You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
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