Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
