lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Randomize
