You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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