As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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