That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
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