she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
So many bounce houses so little time
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
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