Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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