im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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