:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Randomize
