No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
