if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Actions speak louder than pants.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
