Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize