You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
