His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
