i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Everclear isn't food dammit
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
