You smell like stripper and shame
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Randomize
