Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
