Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
Quick, to the slutcave!
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
How's work?
Spinning.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
