my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Randomize
