I just cut my nipple shaving
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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