There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I cut my penus on the lid.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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