you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Randomize
