hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
