i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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