i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize