Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
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